All Kidding Aside

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Love And All That Glitters.

     You might be thinking that I have found a new love or that I have been given something wonderfully glittery and sparkly from my hubby.

     Nope. On both accounts.

     What I’m talking about will cost me, and cost me dearly…but, I don’t care. Thanks to William, Norma, Shelly, Christina and a horde of others, I’ll be paying the cuss jar for the next little while. I guess I do have it coming though…I’ve posted at least three blogs about snow for my dear friend, William. He loves the stuff. I think he was dropped on his head one too many times when he was a kid.

     Yes, next week–Friday to be exact–the newest Twilight movie will be opening up in the theatres. And yes, I will be seeing it in the theatre with my other Twi-hard friends. Some of them like Wolfie, while others, like myself, like Old Sparkly. No one likes Miss No-smiles.

     Yes, I’m in my 40’s and should not be in love with Old Sparkly. Ok, love is not the word…I just think he’s cute. So do millions of other Twi-mom’s. He’s got a cute smile and I personally love his accent. Too bad Old Sparkly isn’t British.

     But, just because I like the movies, doesn’t mean I can’t poke fun at them as well. And also, if I’m going to pay the cuss jar, then so is William. In case some of you are new to my blogs, Mr. William is not supposed to say anything in regards to snow, sparkly and pretty as it may be sometimes.

     Like this pic…Look how pretty the snow looks against the green sign. And, who would have thought snow could be so strong as to hold up a car?

     Ok, so I’m a little bit obsessed. At least my obsession is cute. Sure, he might be as cold as an icicle and be just as strong, but I suppose in a few years he might not be. That’s kind of a scary thought. Ewww…

     Look at this…what a fun ride that must have been. And, they did such a good job at balancing the car, too. They probably couldn’t repeat that manouver again even if they tried. I, for one, do not want to attempt this.

     I think I’d rather date a fat and ugly Old Mr. Sparkles than to end up there.

      At least the one I like doesn’t look like a llama. I’m just sayin’.

       BTW, I’m just trying to figure out what’s pretty about this. Can anyone tell me? Honestly, I’m a pretty good driver in the snow…it’s all the other assholes out there that you’ve got to look out for.

     Did you know that people with white cars pay higher insurance premiums? It’s because of SNOW!

First there was Twilight. Ok, so he liked to watch her sleep…that’s not creepy…is it??

And, of course, then there was New Moon and Eclipse.

And, soon…Breaking Dawn…my favourite of the books. Yes, this is where Edward and Bella make a baby. Awwwww.

See, don’t you think he’d make a nice daddy?

Oh, and Breaking Dawn is also where we get to hear jokes like this one. You have to admit, it is funny. Sorry to all my blonde friends.

    

 Still, I don’t know about you, but I’d much rather go see a really bad movie, then to be in this predicament. Or any of these other ones.

Yeah, I’d definitely rather see a the Breaking Dawn movie with a cute guy in it, sullen girl and wolf-boy, then to be stuck here. Sorry William….but, you can keep this white crap. When it snows here, I’ll bundle up mine and send it to you. I know where you live. (Just kidding)

P.S. I won’t make you pay the cuss jar if you don’t make me pay mine. :o)

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That Thing Not To Be Mentioned

     This is what I live for. Summery sun, green grass, cool drinks and swimming at a really nice beach. I like going for walks in the sun, feeling the warmth and the light on my face. I like wearing the cool clothes of summer…and no socks. I love not having to wear socks.

     I would love to be able to sit on a tropical island with not a care in the world.

Of course, all good things must come to an end.

     Alas, the summer sun has decided that it doesn’t want to be hot anymore and the leaves are just beginning to turn to their bright colours of Fall. There’s a little nip in the air that really saddens me. But, it’s an inevitable little nip. Unless you live closer to the equator, consider yourself screwed.

     Yup, I’m talking about the cooler months. I’m not happy about it. Not at all. There are some amongst us who appreciate the little bits of solidified water that seems to fall unendingly from the sky.

     William and I have cuss jars, appointed to us from Norma. Mine is because I happen to like a certain un-named person who is also among the un-dead and is in a bunch of movies that happen between the time the sun goes down and nightfall. His is because of snow.

     And, I know he has something planned for me. I can just imagine what his will be like, but of course I can’t let him have all the fun, now can I? That would be unethical of me.

     So, enjoy these lovely snowglobes that I found. I don’t think you’ll find any of these in your local Hallmark store.

     This poor bugger is about to lose his house. Dumbass should have built it on a bigger ice berg.

Oh dear. When the children are bad, just throw them down the well. No one has to know.

Hide and seek? You’re doing it wrong.

Well, this is what happens when you get involved with the wrong guys and even the law enforcement officers are crooked. I hope your affairs are in order.

MONSTER!!!

Oh, that would really suck ass!

Damn horse…he never listens.

Is that a naked guy on Santa’s sleigh? I think the jolly old elf might be a little too jolly.

You can even make your own. Look at these cuties! Cute little stormtroopers in babyfood jars. Sweet!

Oh. Death. Not good.

Oh no…this is definitely not good.

Oh God…Just a big ole snow storm in a globe. That’s torturous.

That’s more like it.

Your safety is our priority. No more talk about snow.
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