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Why Your Grandparents Always Were Happy

     My grandparents were always happy to see me. Now I know why.

     It wasn’t because of my sparkling personality, and it wasn’t because I was just a sweet little girl. No, maybe they had other reasons for being happy.

     I got this email from a friend and knew that I had to make a blog about this. It just screams to be known. Your grandparents were never happy to see you…no…they were just “happy”…

     I suppose the doctor/pharmacy/general store handed this stuff out freely to whomever could pay for it. And, it probably wasn’t like the drug trafficking of today. You know, the “here-this-one-is-free-but-the-next-one-will-cost-you” bit. No, this was probably readily used to cure whatever ailed you.

     I suppose that’s not all bad, is it?

     Metcalf’s Coca Wine…hmmm, sounds yummy actually.

     A pleasant tonic and invigorator. For fatigue of mind or body…hey, I could use some of that.

     Recommended for Neuralgia, sleeplessness, despondency, etc…what’s the etc?

     That’s not all.

     This one’s been awarded no less than Ten Gold Medals!

     Where can I buy some of this?

     This stuff must work. His holiness, the Pope uses it and look at him….he looks pretty happy. It even cures influenza.

     Health, strength, energy and vitality.

     Ok, I don’t know about you, but I definitely need some of this wine.

     Too bad I’m not much of a drinker.

    

     This sort of looks like a bar of soap, but I think it’s a paperweight…featuring the factory that produces Quinine and Cocaine in Germany…
     Ah, so we should blame the Germans for our grandparents happiness.
     But, if you’re more like me, and would rather suck on your drugs, here’s the thing for you. Lozenges filled with all the good stuff, drops that will take all the big aches and pains away, and wines that will cure all.
     I mean, really…who needs to snort cocaine when you can get it for toothaches? And, it’s affordable too! Only 15cents! No one needs to snort it or shoot it up…nope, not anymore. Cocaine for toothaches sounds so much less invasive…maybe a little safer too…
     Maybe.
     Oh, I think I get it now.
     I know why your grandparents were always so happy…it was because YOU were happy. Opium for babies…!!

     It’s a wonder we lived at all!

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