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Attention Walmart Shoppers!

on March 27, 2011

     I admit it.

     I like to shop at Walmart. I love that I can go there and get a loaf of bread, a carpet, a can of paint, and a pair of pants, if I so choose. I like having everything all in one place. With the price of gas these days, one-stop-shopping seems to be the way to go.

     Many people go to Walmart for the deals. At my local grocery store, the Dempster’s bagels are $3.58. At Walmart in the next town over, they’re $3.07.  If bagels were the only thing I was getting, I’d pay the higher price and just walk to the store. But, since I would be doing my grocery shopping, I might as well drive to the Walmart to get everything (or most everything) for the week.

     But, when you go to Walmart, sometimes we run into people that just make us shake our heads. We’ve all seen the email “Walmart Shoppers” and we’ve laughed about what they’re wearing. I’ve seen some of these people at the store closest to me, but I don’t have one of those camera phones, where I could be pretending to be calling someone, and instead, snap their picture.

     However, I did find a few online that I hadn’t seen before, so I thought I would share.

     This lady either screwed her head on wrong, or she is a genetic anomally, because, her breasts are on the the wrong side of her body. If you are so fat, that you need a bra, both going the right way and one for the back, I’d suggest not wearing a bathing suit like this. (I can only assume that she has a bathing suit on since there appears to be no back to this top she is wearing.) I just hope that her front is covered a bit better than her back is.

     I know times are tough…they’re tough all over. Everyone is feeling the pinch. But, this dude looks like he may have gone out to the dumpster out behind Walmart, and caught himself a rat. Then he skinned the rat, and made a toupee out of it. You know, if a toupee or wig is going to make you feel better about yourself, then I say, “Go for it!”, but at least make it look as natural as you can. I hope he’s looking at hair dyes to match his make-shift toupee. Maybe he’s checking for more rodents so he can make his toupee bigger.

     Is this guy wearing a skirt? I always thought it was “No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service”. I guess that rule doesn’t apply to this particular store. And, it never fails…you always manage to get a picture of the guy (or girl) picking their butt….what? Admit it, you’ve probably been caught, too.

     If I’m not mistaken, I think Walmart sells clothes…and I’m pretty sure that they even carry “YOUR” size. This a Generation “Y” girl. Why? Because of the little “Y” just at the top of her shorts, that’s why. I know she probably really needs that bottle of cleaner, but I’m pretty sure that what she’s going to be cleaning, probably can’t be cleaned with just that. She’d probably also need a gallon jug of gasoline and a match to clean with. So, save your money on cleaning supplies, and go to the ladies section…they have your size. Trust me.

     Cottage cheese is supposed to be in the dairy section. That’s all I have to say about this lady. Nobody needs to see this…at any time.

     Ok, so it’s not only fat people who shop at Walmart. WTF is this person wearing? I’m not even convinced it’s actually a woman. Whatever it is, it’s barely covering what needs to be covered and I’m pretty sure that no one wears shoes like that, either. I hope she doesn’t bend over to get her milk jugs from her shopping cart. I hate to see what is under that dress.

The sign says it all!
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18 responses to “Attention Walmart Shoppers!

  1. Karla Telega says:

    Ow, my eyes! Why do people with back fat want to show it off? I like Wal-Mart too. Butt crack is a small price to pay for roll-back prices.

  2. Susan Antony says:

    The laughs at Walmart are priceless.

  3. DM says:

    Beth, I shop Walmart too, and you do run into these people. Have we no concern for how we look anymore?Good blog.

  4. Beth says:

    @Karla-Your guess is as good as mine. I know that I would never go there looking like that. I would never go anywhere looking like that. @Susan-I know…I love them.@Donna-I guess not. It's amazing what people think looks good on them.

  5. tsonodablog says:

    You must admit, Wal-Mart has low prices AND a lot of good fodder for our blogs. Win Win. Well, maybe except for our eyes.

  6. I love Walmart too. It's just too cheap and convenient to boycott! And the people of walmart site is the best!!! My best time at wm was when a high person came up behind me, leaned into my ear and whispered, "You fu#$ing Jew." And I'm not even Jewish! Though I am self concious about the size of my nose.

  7. Beth says:

    @Terri-Our eyes do suffer quite a bit, don't they…@Christina-That's awful…I mean about the comment…not your nose…I'm sure your nose isn't as bad as you think…But, then again, that's why I usually have my ears covered up…LOL

  8. Lol! Actually, I've finally learned to love my nose. It's my ass I'm having a little trouble with!

  9. I've always said a trip to Walmart is like attending a Jeff Foxworthy family reunion. Thank you, Beth, for the proof that I'm right. Does it get any more redneck than this?

  10. Oh, God! My eyes! My eyes! The horror!! Ackkk!!! Acckkk!!!I shouldn't have had lunch…

  11. Beth says:

    @Christina-I hate my ass, too…and my back fat…but, God, I don't need to wear another bra backwards like that girl does…!@Norma-I love Jeff Foxworthy!! I was actually thinking today that I should do a Redneck blog…your comment just proves that…LOL

  12. Beth says:

    @William-I know…that first one is awful…but, I couldn't resist…I had to put it as the first one…LOL I'm sorry if I made you lose your lunch…LOL

  13. Yes, Beth, you should do a redneck blog!I love Jeff Foxworthy!

  14. deenasafari says:

    LOL! I have seen stuff like this! Wow, people need better friends to say, "eh, it doesn't flatter you. Go change!"

  15. Beth says:

    @deenasafari-You're so right! It's like those people from American Idol who think they can sing…

  16. shelly says:

    Now I have one more reason to show why I stay out of Wal Mart. Yup. I'm a Wal Mart snob.

  17. Hey, I have some shoes like that last shopper- but mine are pink. (Don't judge me- this is the desert)I saw a lady yesterday walk in with her pajama bottoms and slippers. Go figure.:)Very funny stuff Beth!

  18. Beth says:

    @Shelly-Well, I'm a Walmart shopper, but I'm pretty sure that I would never go out looking like these people…LOL@Eve-I'm sorry…but, they're funny! And, I never wear my PJ's out to the store…they're for bed…

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